Tag: Separations

Preparing for the idea of loneliness and maintaining human connection when embarking on a solo, nomadic lifestyle.

My original intent with this blog was to publish one or two posts a week regularly, as that has been known to build and keep your reader base. Then, the impossible (but predictable) happened: I met someone. One month before I was supposed to leave, I met a human. I’m not going to go too deep into that except to say, I met a human and we connected in a way that certainly doesn’t happen for me every day, or year, or probably decade. So, I decided to prioritize. I knew that I was on the precipice of a lifestyle that, while exciting, would be filled with a lot of solitude and plane rides and chances to write. I only had a month (well, I turned it into two) to spend with this new, wonderful human and learn as much as I could about them. In addition, I was obviously also concerned with spending time with all the other pals I was preparing to leave. As a result, I now have a collection of blog posts at various states of completion that will get published a wee bit after the time when they were actually relevant to my process. That’s okay, right?

Tell me it’s okay and that readers who come to this blog later in the game won’t even know the timeline. TELL ME, because being disingenuous makes me itch.

As a rule, you’re not alone if you have someone to take your picture.

Though that sort of connection doesn’t happen for me often, I have been known to revel in, hold onto, and some may say place too much importance on human connections in my life in general. I hold onto friends and people that are important to me. I will make all attempts to stay in touch with people, waiting for way longer to give up than most would if not reciprocated. I tend to be sad about leaving even the worst jobs because I will no longer be connected to the people I’ve come to know there. It’s just a part of who I am. I believe that these connections we make change us and better us, and I delight in getting in touch with old friends or people from my past and hearing their stories.

And while I know that I will have no problem meeting people throughout my travels, one of the first things I had to really come to terms with was how lonely this path will be, most of the time.

If not for meeting cool people when I travel, I never would have been brought to Bharma, the LOST-themed bar in Barcelona.

I will meet people, yes. I will likely have people to drink with or adventure with, or at least small talk with at the local bar, but I won’t have any of my solid compatriots. You know, the easy pals that you can just spend time with without expending too much effort. The people who care about your mundane stories, whose stupid stories you also like to hear. They will all be a world away. In Connecticut, or Oregon, or Colorado, for example. Fortunately for me, I have never been afraid of solitude, but sometimes you just need your people and I will simply not be in most places long enough to achieve such depth in my new relationships.

Luckily, technology prevails, for now. Keeping in touch is easier than ever, and I haven’t lived in the same places as my closest buds for nearly a decade, if not more. I’m not worried about that. It’s the in-person outlets that I’ll miss. The leisurely lunches or happy hours. The local bar where everyone really does know my name. Family, who has no choice but to love you, regardless of how much of a dink you are. They’ll still be a mere Internet away, but I need to prepare myself for this change. After all, think of all the love letters and postcards and care packages that are possible. Vintage romance!

This is okay. I accept this. I know that part of this entire plan revolves around getting me outside of my comfort zone. Lord knows that during my last months in Denver, my productivity was at an all-time low due to my feelings of comfort and happiness being at an all-time high. Instead of maintaining a rigorous schedule, I’d been focusing on and prioritizing nurturing my human connections. I think this is okay too.

Solitude is a state of mind. For example, a new friend was snapping this lonely photo.

One true positive that I haven’t fully addressed yet is the combination of my freedom in time and travel. I have free flights, I have no brick and mortar job requiring my presence. I will be able to move about and see people I wasn’t able to see much of before. On the one hand, things might get lonely. I may feel separated and adrift from my core humans. But, on the other hand, I will be able to see a wider breadth of important people on a much more regular basis.

There are many people I will miss. Unfortunately, I can’t take everyone I love everywhere with me at all times (this is actually probably for the best, I would get nothing done!). I need to have faith that the strong connections will endure and look forward to the wide variety of new weirdos that I’ll meet as I go.